


Debrief

by lil_1337



Series: Sneaky!Steve [3]
Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Captain America, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-26
Updated: 2012-07-26
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:57:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_1337/pseuds/lil_1337
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is busted, Tony is accusatory and Clint just wants alone time with his shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Debrief

When Clint hit the elevator at Avenger Tower there was only one thing on his mind. The adjustable pulsating shower head in his bathroom that was quickly becoming one of his favorite pieces of hardware in the whole world. Especially when coupled with Stark's seemingly unending supply of hot water. It was decadent on a level that made Clint think of spectacular curves, hard muscles and mind blowing sex. Right now all he wanted was some quiet time alone with his special...er... yeah. Even in the privacy of his own mind he couldn't quite go there.

The door slid open silently onto the main communal floor and he stepped out heading for the private elevator that would take him to his room and his sweet, sweet, giver of wet muscle massages. After multiple days sitting in the sun and dirt only to followed by a safe house in a hotel with water pressure that was weaker than what he could pee he was in desperate need. There was sand in places that, if it remained, was going to require Clint to propose. The last thing he wanted short of another alien invasion was to be greeted by a haggard looking Tony Stark muttering about condoms and boxers.

“Barton!” Tony's voice held a mixture of relief and recrimination that was not unusual in Clint's world. “What the hell are you doing? I thought we were friends.”

“We are dude.” Clint patted Tony's shoulder affectionately and moved past him to the elevator. Whatever it was that Tony thought he had done could wait until later. The siren song of his aqueous lover was getting stronger with each passing moment and he was powerless to ignore it.

Looking around nervously Tony lowered his voice bringing it to a new level of urgency. “Why did you do that with the fucking condoms? They're awesome and I need to know where you had them made, but _goddam_ it man I have this image of Steve now that will not go away.”

Clint blinked then frowned before blinking again. “What condoms?”

“The Shield ones.”

“SHIELD doesn't issue condoms. You can buy them in the bathrooms, but that's it.”

“I really don't want to think about Fury and sex. Thanks.” Tony shuddered. “I mean the condoms you had made with Capt's shield on them.” He pulled the offending silver packet from his pocket and shoved it Clint's direction.

With a whisper of a sigh Clint took the condom, noting with amusement the spots where the printing was starting to show signs of wear. Most likely as a result of being carried around in Tony's pocket. “These are really cool. Whoever did the work knows his stuff. Is the printing on the inside too?” Before Tony would grab it back Clint tore open the packet and dumped the rubber out onto his hand. It was, not surprisingly, coated in alternating red and blue phosphorescent stripes that would no doubt cause it to glow in the dark.

“Oh, God.” Tony stared at the small piece of latex that represented the last of his sanity. “You are a cruel man, Clint Barton.”

With a muffled snort Clint dumped both the prophylactic and packing back into Tony's hand. “It wasn't me. I wish I could take credit for it, but I can't. Sorry.“

“The clothing malfunctions weren't you either were they?” Tony scrubbed a hand over his face then shook his head as if he was trying to clear it.

“Seriously?” The tone of Clint's very clearly said he had no idea what Tony was talking about.

Tony deflated back against the wall as his righteous anger drained away. “Then who? Steve said he found them in my jacket pocket.”

Clint shrugged, his thoughts already returning to the exquisite contrast between cool marble tiles and pulsating jets of hot water. It was all he could do to contain a rather erotic moan that longed to slip from between his lips at the memory of the sensation. “Who else was around and had access?”

Tony's eyes sharpened then narrowed as his brain rebooted itself out of the blue screen of sex it been frozen in. “Son of a bitch!” Tony launched himself away from the wall as if he had repulsors strapped to him. “I'm going to kill Steve. Or fuck him. Maybe both.” He strode out of the room muttering loudly to himself about all the ways in which he was going to defile a certain national icon.

Grinning widely Clint punched the button for his floor then stepped into the waiting elevator. He had some ideas for upgrades to his shower and now both Tony _and_ Steve owed him. When they were finished paying him back he might never leave the bathroom again.


End file.
